The Day I Gave Up Italian Sausage

Before I get to today's secret, let me warn you...it'll ruin your appetite. So, if you're eating or have thoughts of food on your mind, you may want to come back to this secret after your belly's stuffed and your appetite has diminished.

And to all others, the warning above should put you on alert that what you're about to read...may make your stomach turn.

Today's secret is one that I'm glad was sent to me with the story already attached, because this secret is an admission that I have no words for.

So, without further ado, here goes:

A guy was home alone one morning, enjoying his peace and quiet. Enjoying not having to deal with his wife's laundry list of chores and complaints. Enjoying not having to censor himself around his two boys. Enjoying not having to do anymore or any less than he felt like doing. Just enjoying his own space for the first time in longer than he'd care to say.

He hadn't taken it upon himself to make breakfast or start his morning with a cup of coffee. He was still a little full from the snack he had last night after dinner. A special dish he prepared for himself after the kids were in bed and his wife was out of his ear.

He had a craving for Italian sausage, so he sauteed a spicy link on the stove and ate it with some of the leftover lasagna that his wife had made for dinner. And went to bed happy, on a full stomach.

So, the morning after his late night snack, when the guy was finally home alone to enjoy some time to himself and stretched out in his bed enjoying some ESPN highlights, he was suddenly reminded of the spicy Italian sausage that he decided to compliment his wife's lasagna.

He tilts to his side, preparing to let a mean one rip, and then let's it out.

But what came out was a hell of a lot more than gas.

It was a wet one.

He shitted himself!

And he hasn't eaten spicy sausage since.

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